Don't let the cave-in get you down

So my major non-academic goal for the year is to get a singing scholarship - a scholarship that would entitle me to at least one semester of singing lessons for no charge.

I have no idea whether I'll get it. I've never had singing lessons before. I can't read music; I have difficulty sticking to the correct part during harmonies; and I think my singing voice might be a little too nasal. But in the past year of doing shows it's always been singing parts that I've gotten, and being out of the shadow of some genuinely incredible singers at my old drama group has lead me to realise that I have a pretty powerful voice with a very wide vocal range.

Until I took a year off from acting entirely I didn't realise how much it means to me. And - well. I think overall I made the right decision in going to university instead of drama school. I don't even know if I'd have gotten into drama school! And actorly life just doesn't sound appealing to me, in terms of the uncertainty and insecurity and competition. But the acting... I have friends who are doing the Edinburgh fringe festival. They're doing a show a night for a month and I am so, so jealous.

I know that I can use performance-type skills in ~real jobs~. I just went to speaker's training with Macmillan, so that I can deliver presentations to groups and corporations either thanking them for donating to the charity or persuading them to do so. I know I can work out a compromise that will make me overall happy. But I keep hearing about old friends from my old group getting into shows or into drama school or getting TV auditions and all I think is WANT WANT WANT.

But! The school year will be here soon. And since my voice is getting me into shows, I'm going to do as much as I can to improve it. Which includes more exercise, actually - my asthma has been making itself more prominent lately. I need to strengthen up my lungs, maintain my range, and work on a couple of audition-friendly songs. Fingers crossed.

SO SOMEHOW IT ESCAPED MY ATTENTION THAT THE AVATAR FILM ISN'T ACTUALLY GOING TO BE RELEASED FOR LIKE ANOTHER YEAR. /o\ Probably because I can't shut up about it

The thing is, I've been scheming with some friends to try and rent out the smallest screen in the local cinema and do a showing of the finale (and possibly Ember Island Players, for at least a bit of context) and donating the proceeds to... something at least vaguely anti-racist, probably either Liberty or some anti-BNP thing if I can find one that's nationwide enough. Liberty's more about civil rights and helping asylum seekers atm than the sort of racism that whitewashes almost an entire cast, but it's pretty fucking awesome in general.

I suppose I could keep ploughing ahead and do something in Martinmas semester anyway; it's not like I can arrange a university LOL BOYCOTTING RACIST FILMS party in the middle of the summer holidays. But it feels a little like cheating.

Mildly related, I can't stop *___*ing at the editing in this vid. Holy shit lip syncing.